WHAT THE
by Immortal Wolf Lover
Summary: I wrote this cause i am insane and i wanted to. Rated M cause of Paranoia, suggestive themes and crude misunderstood humor
1. Mirror mirror

You won't Believe It!

Princess Stella of Solaria was bored. Scratch that she was beyond bored. Her best friend Bloom was staying the night over at the Cloud Tower school for witches for some reason she wouldn't tell, her boyfriend Brandon was over at the Red Fountain school for heroics and bravery asleep probably it was almost midnight on a Saturday night, but she and her three other friends couldn't sleep, they were too worried about Bloom for that.

"I'm bored!" Stella exclaimed for the fifth time in the last hour.

"Well what do you want to do? None of us can sleep for worry about Bloom and we can't seem to think of something to do that won't land us in trouble!" Musa snaps in irritation.

"How about we see what the teachers are up to?" Stella suggested absentmindly.

"Why would you wish to know what our teachers are up to?" Tecna asks curiously.

"I don't know. I just suggested the first thing that popped into my head." Stella said shrugging.

"It's something at least." Musa said sighing tiredly.

"Here I know the perfect spell. Mirror mirror on the wall. Show us our teachers. First off show us Faragonda!" (Lol I couldn't resist) Stella chanted pointing a finger at the full body mirror on the wall across from the couch all four of the girls were sitting on. The mirror glowed for a moment before showing Faragonda sitting at her desk in her office with Professor Saladin from Red Fountain standing at her side smiling.

"How are the boys doing Saladin?" Faragonda asks politely with a small smile.

"The boys are fine Faragonda. What about Bloom and the other girls?" Saladin asks just as politely while looking at Faragonda lovingly.

"Bloom and the girls are fine. Bloom is over at Cloud Tower tonight because Ediltrudes water broke a few hours ago and Ophelia is out of realm. Bloom was the only qualified healer she trusted so she screamed at Zarathrustra to call for her. Griffin will holocall me as soon as the little one is born but it's safe to assume it's a girl." Faragonda said sipping her tea calmly.

"I'd say so considering both of its parents are female." Saladin said making Stellas and the others jaws drop.

"True. How is Helia doing? I haven't seen our grandson in so long." Faragonda asks shaking her head sadly.

"Helia's fine. He's doing great over at art school. He does miss us and his aunts though." Saladin says placing his hand over Faragondas in a sign of comfort. Faragonda smiled up at Saladin in thanks. Saladin leaned over and kissed Faragondas forehead softly.

"I have to get back to Red Fountain before Cordatora knows I'm gone or worse, if Griselda learns I'm here. See you later and you'd better get some actual sleep this time hon." Saladin said smiling down at Faragonda before kissing her lips and telatransporting out, too much giggling from the white haired woman.

"Married for almost forty years and I still act like a school girl. Griffey would never stop teasing me if she found out." Faragonda said to herself making most of the girls jaws drop. A small beep came from Faragondas holophone before a small digital image of Griffin appeared a little ways away.

"I heard that big sis and you got that last part right." Griffin said smirking smugly at her older sister who groaned and banged her forehead on the desk.

"Anyways. The babies are here. It turns out Ediltrude was carrying twins, both girls of course, but they're not identical twins. Magissa, who is the oldest by twenty minutes, has blue and blacked striped hair with Ediltrudes black eyes while Oscuritla has blue and white striped hair and Zarathrustras dark green eyes. They decided that, since most of the schools staffs are related to them in one way or another, Bloom would be the godmother with Ophelia and Barbatea as honorary godmother. Palladium is godfather with Wizgiz as honorary. Both of the little ones are happy and completely healthy while Ediltrude and Zarathrustra are happy but still somewhat in shock that they are mothers." Griffin said sounding somewhat amused.

"They named their daughters 'Magic' and 'Darkness'?" Faragonda asks sounding humored at the children's names. Griffin merely shrugged as if to say 'It's those two we're talking about you know?'

"Bloom is also doing another health check on the little ones as well as Ediltrude. She wants to make sure that all three of them are alright and that there aren't any birth defects or hemorrhaging going on. She also had to show Zarathrustra the correct way to hold a new born infant without harming it. I'd like to know where she learned to do that because I spoke with Ophelia before she went out of realm. She never taught any of the students' medical magic or how to deliver a baby or even how to handle one." Griffin said shaking her head confused.

"From what I learned when I researched some of Blooms background on Earth, Bloom graduated college at age five as valedictorian with masters in several areas one of which was medicine and another was child development. She also worked as a part time nurse in the hospital before becoming a supervising nurse full time at age ten. There's even a note at the bottom of her file from the hospital. It reads; 'we're not sure what this girl is but half of us want to kill her while the other half begs her to teach them.'" Faragonda says picking up a slender manila file on her desk and reading the last line on the page that was written in red ink. Griffin merely blinked and stared at the white haired woman for a moment before laughing heartily.

"That sounds about right. Half of my students want to kill her anytime she comes over after that prank she pulled on us while the other half are begging her to tell them how she did it." Griffin said between her chuckles. Faragonda merely stared at Griffin for a minute in shock.

"Are you telling me it was Bloom who turned Cloud Tower and all those in it, including yourself and all of your staff except Ediltrude, bright pink last month?" Faragonda asks still sounding shocked.

"Yep." Was Griffins simple response making Faragonda look more shocked than anyone had ever seen her.

"I'll award her for that when she comes back tomorrow." Faragonda finally says with a slightly devious smirk.

"As long as she doesn't team up with Griselda." Griffin said making both women shudder in horror at the thought.

"Speaking of 'Relda. How is my niece handling the fact that she's going to be a mother at age twenty?" Griffin asks grinning at Faragonda.

"Far better than my niece and niece-in-law did. She's actually very thrilled and eager to meet the little one growing in her stomach. DuFour responded to the news in the normal fashion." Faragonda said chuckling slightly.

"She passed out?" Griffin asks raising an eyebrow.

"Of course." Was Faragondas prompt reply.

"I'm going to go check on my daughter, daughter-in-law and grandchildren. See ya later sis and you'd better actually sleep this time." Griffin said before the call ended.

"You heard all of that DuFour?" Faragonda questions her empty office making the red clad silver haired woman appear from the shadows.

"Of course. I'm going to go inform 'Relda in a moment. She's still awake due to concern for her cousin. You do know we'll have to tell the students about her condition sooner than expected right?" DuFour asks making the older woman look confused.

"Why? She shouldn't start showing for another few months. Is something wrong?" Faragonda asks alarmed.

"No nothing's wrong. According to Bloom, 'Reldas petite form means that she'll start showing later on this week at the latest. She'll get much bigger than most other pregnant women before she goes into labor." DuFour explained immediately.

"Oh. Thank goodness nothing is wrong. I'm worried enough about her as it is with her being bonded. Now that she's pregnant barely after her twentieth birthday?" Faragonda said shaking her head bemusedly.

"Yeah me too, especially since it's my little one she's carrying and she's my bonded. You might have to start finding a replacement for Wizgiz and Palladium though." DuFour said the last part in a growl.

"Why? What have those two morons done now?" Faragonda questions groaning in exasperation.

"If those two don't stop teasing me for passing out when 'Relda told me the news I'm going to use my dagger to castrate them before using one of Palladiums swords to behead them both with the blunt side." DuFour growled out in irritation. Faragonda winced knowing full well that the red clad woman could and would carry out that threat.

"I'll warn them and then start looking for replacements just in case. If you do follow through with that threat don't get caught and please don't do it in front of any students." Faragonda said making a smirking DuFour pout for a second before going back to smiling again.

"Eh? Bloom will probably try to help. She's getting fed up with them too." DuFour said shrugging.

"They're gonna die for sure then." Faragonda said turning pale.

"Of course. She's more sadistic than me, you, Ediltrude, Zarathrustra, 'Relda, Griffin, Daph, Mirelda, and Saladin ever were." DuFour said smirking victoriously.

"Poor morons. We better start working on an epitaph for them." Feragonda said shaking her head bemusedly.

"Already got one. 'Idiots from before birth to after death, we will miss your moronic ways forever.'" DuFour said grinning insanely while the white haired woman chuckled.

"Worst part is that we could actually use that." Faragonda said shaking her head bemusedly while DuFour snorted.

"Later. I'm going to go check on my wife." DuFour said before disappearing into the shadows.

"Show us DuFour!" Stella requested the mirror making it go blank for a minute before it showed DuFour in an elegantly decorated room with a balcony attached and a large bookshelf in the corner near a queen sized bed decorated beautifully. DuFour noticed the empty room before calmly and quietly walking out onto the balcony. Griselda was standing there by the railing looking up at the stars with a smile on her face wearing nothing but one of DuFours dresses which, due to Griseldas short stature, hung down past her knees. DuFour snuck up behind the brown haired woman and slowly wrapped her arms around Griseldas waist making the brown haired woman give a very undignified yelp of shock. DuFour smiled down at Griselda even as the brown haired woman glared at her for sneaking up behind her.

"You should be in bed asleep dear." DuFour said kissing Griseldas forehead before placing her own head on the brown haired womans shoulder.

"I couldn't sleep without you holding me." Griselda said softly while shyly adverting her eyes and blushing slightly.

"I see. I understand but you shouldn't be out here in the chilly night air only wearing one of my dresses. If you were any further along the little one might get hurt due to the cold. They need to be warm which is why she is _inside_ of your stomach instead of outside." DuFour said smiling at the brown haired woman as she slowly rubbed her hand over Griseldas stomach which had a very small baby bump. Griselda smiled when DuFour kept rubbing her hand over the baby bump with a look of wonder on her face.


	2. Darwin awards and coming out

You won't Believe It!

"Okay. We can handle a lot. Ms. Griselda is Mrs. Faragondas daughter, that isn't too surprising. Mrs. Faragonda and Mr. Saladin are married to each other, kinda guessed it. Ms. Griffin and Mrs. Faragonda are sisters, explains a lot. Ms. Griffin has a daughter who happens to be Mrs. Ediltrude and her wife happens to be Mrs. Zarathrustra, now it's getting strange. Ediltrude and Zarathrustra having a set of twin girls, more power to them. DuFour and Griselda being married, holy shit. Griselda and DuFour being married and expecting a baby, well dragon shit. How the hell did we miss that?" Stella asks after a few minutes of silence.

"You've been hanging out with Bloom too much. You're starting to cuss like her." Tecna said sighing tiredly as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"We weren't looking for it Stell. We had no reason to and therefore we didn't. Simple as that." Musa said shrugging her shoulders.

"I am soooo teasing Ms. Griselda about this when she starts to really show though." Stella said smirking viciously as she already planned what she was going to do.

"Don't do anything too stupid or Bloom will kill you and then she'll kill us for not stopping you." Techna said sighing in defeat just knowing that Stella was going to do something that might earn her a Darwin award. _'Hmmm. Maybe I should bring a camera and record it. It could be funny and provide a lot of blackmail material…Damnitt. Now I'm thinking like Bloom!' _Techna said with a mental grimace. She liked the girl she really did but Bloom acted more like a Cloud Tower witch than some of the Cloud Tower teachers!

"Don't worry I know just the thing and it's sure to not get us killed, I hope." Stella said grinning before faltering slightly at the end while her three friends groaned. Oh yeah Stella was going to win a Darwin Award one day.

The next day in Ms. Griseldas class.

"Wow Ms. G. You need to lay off the snack food." Stella said as soon as the strict teacher walked into the room. There was a heartbeat of silence before most of the class looked at Stella as if she were nuts, Bloom and Griselda glared at the blond, and Musa, Techna, and Flora slammed their heads onto their desks.

"First off Ms. Stella. What I eat is my business and _not_ yours. Secondly, there is a difference between fat and an unborn baby. I suggest you think before you open your mouth again." Griselda said glaring at the blond who merely shrugged sheepishly while all the other students looked at Griselda in shock.

"I make no promises but what's that tattoo on your wrist? It looks pretty cool." Stella said noticing a glowing blue design on Griseldas left wrist that was barely covered by the teachers dress.

"This is not a tattoo. It is a bond cuff as well as none of your business." Griselda said coldly.

"What's a bond cuff?" One of the other girls asks curiously.

"It, in its simplest sense, means that I am married to someone." Griselda replied curtly again while internally wincing, that was sure to bring up more questions. Many students were looking surprised at this revelation while Stella smirked slightly.

"Then how come you only have one bond cuff while I saw two one Professor DuFours wrists?" Stella asks looking confused while Griselda blushed slightly.

"Then Ms. DuFour is married as well. There are three types of bond cuffs. Dominant, Submissive, and Equal. If you have one on each wrist like Ms. DuFour then it means that you are the dominant in the marriage such as being over the age of 21, which was the old fashioned age you were considered an adult, and it is the dominants job to care for their Submissive until the Submissive and the Dominant are both over the age of 21 in which case they are considered Equals. Submissives are the ones in the marriage that are under the age of 21 and are usually the ones that end up baring any and all children. The Submissives are identified by the fact that they only wear one bond cuff on their right wrist. Equals means that both partners are over the age of 21 and are signified by the fact that they both wear one cuff on each wrist. Equals means that both of the partners cares for the other and both are able to bear the children, no matter if the two partners are of the same gender or not." Griselda explained, knowing the students wouldn't drop it easily and deciding to just go ahead and get it out of the way, as she rolled up her dress sleeve to show the single glowing blue cuff.

"So you're a Submissive?" One of the green haired girls asked looking at her teacher in shock.

"Until next September in which me and my bonded will be equals." Griselda said shortly.

"So who is your bonded?" Stella asked in faked curiosity.

"That is my secret. Any more questions?" Griselda asks seeing how close it was to the end of the class period and just wanting to get this over with.

"Does your bonded work here or at one of the other schools?" Stella asks trying to dig the information out of the stubborn brown haired teacher.

"Yes." Griselda answered curtly and starting to get a little irritated.

"Is your bonded working at Cloud Tower?" The same green haired girl as before asks curiously.

"Nope." Griselda said casually.

"Red Fountain?" Another student guessed trying to think of who all worked at the all-boys school.

"Not even close." Griselda said beginning to enjoy the guessing game with her students.

"Here at Alfea then?" Musa asked fighting not to laugh or smirk when Griselda nodded.

"Is Professor Palladium your bonded?" Stella asks trying her best not to grin insanely.

"No offense to him but that wouldn't happen in even his dreams." Griselda said wrinkling her nose slightly as the class was dismissed for lunch but her students followed her to the cafeteria still questioning her, and explaining what was going on to their friends from other classes and grades.

"What is going on Griselda?" DuFour asked her wife curiously when she saw what was happening.

"Ms. Stella made a comment on the fact that I am starting to show my pregnancy, mistaking it for pure fat, and noticed my bond cuff so I was basically interrogated until they found out I was a Submissive in my marriage and are now tryin to find out who my Dominant is. They managed to narrow it down to someone who works here in Alfea that isn't Palladium." Griselda summed up glaring slightly at Stella when she mentioned that part about 'fat'.

"Is it Professor Wizgiz?" One of the juniors asks staring at her teacher with her head cocked to the side slightly. DuFour covered her mouth to presumably stop from laughing, even though it was really hiding a protective scowl, while Griselda looked at the Junior as if she were insane.

"No way in the universe! He is old enough to be my grandfather and acts like an immature uncle." Griselda said looking disgusted at the mere thought.

"Is it Ms. Fargonda?" One of the Sophomores asks randomly making everyone give a start.

"Ewwww no! She's my mother!" Griselda said with a look of revolution on her face while most of the students jaws dropped at the bombshell and Fargonda herself looked repulsed by the mere thought of it.

"That explains a lot. Is it Ms. Barbatea?" One of the few clueless Seniors asks looking between the librarian and the brown haired teacher.

"No way. I'm already married to someone else and Griselda is like a little sister to me." Barbatea said pulling a face while Griselda scowled at being called little.

"I am not little. I managed to beat your butt all over Magix if you care to remember." Griselda said glaring at the purple haired woman who merely shrugged.

"Yeah but you are still the youngest teacher here." Barbatea pointed out before paling under the glare she got from Griselda and DuFour.

"Is it Professor DuFour?" A random Freshman asks looking between the two women.

"Alas, you have managed to figure our relationship out. Oh well, looks like the game's up 'Relda." DuFour said over exaggeratedly as she wrapped an arm around Griseldas waist with a wide grin adorning her face. The students passed it off as the teachers messing with their heads until DuFours next action. DuFour spun Griselda in a circle by the waist before dipping her and kissing the brown haired teacher deeply and passionately. All the students now had their jaws on the ground as DuFour pulled out of the kiss with a wide grin while Griselda seemed a little breathless and was blushing hotly. The now tense full silence lasted for all of a minute before it was broken by Palladium, Wizgiz, and Bloom breaking out in hysterical laughter at the exact same second.


End file.
